Concept 2:

Triangles

“In an extremely well differentiated system, people can maintain their emotional separateness even when highly stressed. If people can maintain their emotional autonomy, triangling is minimal, and the system’s stability does not depend on it” (Kerr & Bowen, 1988, p. 139).

The second concept of Bowen theory refers to what people tend to do when anxiety between two people gets too intense: they siphon off some of their tension onto a third party, forming a triangle. Dysfunctional triangles occur as a result of undifferentiated—when two people can’t find a way to resolve the tension between them. “In an extremely well differentiated system, people can maintain their emotional separateness even when highly stressed. If people can maintain their emotional autonomy, triangling is minimal, and the system’s stability does not depend on it” (Kerr & Bowen, 1988, p. 139).

As people come to understand how the triangles operate in their family, they are able to predict the movement of tension within their system and the function that various triangles play. Richardson (2011) goes so far as to say: “Unless you can anticipate the power of triangles and understand their functioning in your own family, your attempts to change will be defeated” (p. 52).